Ah fuck, I just watched Snowpiercer and now I can’t help but write something about it.
First of all, the movie is really good. It’s everything I want from an action film, by which I mean that it’s exciting, it has political undertones that are dumbed down for remedial third graders, and it’s not gratuitously violent. There are a few instances when they needed like, Cormac McCarthy to come in and write the scene. “The Road” is sparse of word, but heavy with imagery. You don’t need McCarthy to fill in any blanks, because you imagination does the work. It’s easy to imagine how horrible the situation would get if starving human beings are stuck in a cart on a train with no food for a few months. There’s one line where the Chris Evans character was like, “The babies taste the best,” and I rolled my eyes. As I writer, I wanted an editor to get in there and cut it out in track changes. (On a side note, I had no idea that was Chris Evans until I checked IMDB. IS HE EVERYMAN OR WHAT.)
The ending felt like…they couldn’t figure out how to end it, so they implied something rather than wrapped it up. That was also sort of a writerly touch, because most of the time when I’m ending a piece, I see what I can get away with in terms of leaving it open-ended.
All I want to do is work on the book, even though I feel like shit about it these past few days, so I’m going to write a pretty brief post about “Boyhood.”
I knew I wanted to see “Boyhood” because I love Richard Linklater, and also, I heard it was good. But I wasn’t like, dying to see it. I’m really happy I did, however, because it’s pretty…extraordinary? I think that might actually be the right word. I’ve personally never seen a film that captures the life of a child to the moment he becomes an adult by using the same actor, so that you can actually see the way that a human person transforms from a carefree, glowing youth, to this sort of awkward creature full of an incredible amount of gravitas. Linklater does it with such tenderness.
I frequently read articles on Buzzfeed and those junk websites (Thought Catalog?) about introverts. “You know you’re an introvert if you prefer staying home to parties!” or, “You know you’re an introvert when socializing drains your battery to 20%!” I’m always like, yes, duh.
What I never read is how to maintain friendships both as an introvert, and with an introvert. So I wrote the article myself.
If you still want to hang out with an introvert even though they are one flakey motherfucker, here are some foolproof tips to trick them into meeting you:
1. Make plans somewhere outside of their comfort zone, and then when they text you, “Ooo, I have a stomachache,” be waiting outside of their apartment.
2. Tell them you are going to a $40 exercise class, and then set up a PayPal account to steal their money and give them the address to your apartment.
3. Give an introvert $100 cash in an envelope upfront for having a drink with you, and don’t tell them it’s Monopoly money.