As anyone has every thrown a wedding can imagine, these last few days have been absolute mayhem. I have so much to write about it all, but still haven’t quite re-entered my body. I think it might be a few days before I can process it all, and a few more after that before I can write anything about it.
I will say that it was absolutely beautiful. I will say that the night before, I slept only for three hours. I will say that in the hours before the ceremony, some sort of strange chemical reaction happened in my body that made me so preternaturally calm that everyone kept on asking me if I had taken anti-anxiety medication. I could feel the adrenaline running underneath my skin like waves of electricity. I was so nervous that whenever one of my bridesmaids or aunts would leave me alone in a room, I’d start bleating for them so that they would come back and hold my hand to keep me from shaking.
I will say that the nerves completely dissipated by the time I was fully dressed. When we got to the fort where we got married, my dad entangled his hand in mine, and he walked me down the aisle in silence. “Hi everyone!” I said. “I forgot to do the music.” So all of them, all of my family, and Caleb’s family, and our old friends, and our new friends and our neighbors, and the vendors, they all started singing “Here comes the bride” in unison until I reached the altar.
I will say that I did not feel nervous at all marrying Caleb. In front of the ancient judge who called him “Cable” and me “Brian” while he read the vows, we gripped each other’s hands, and at the end, Caleb picked me up in his arms, and kissed me with exactly the sort of passion I had always dreamed about.
"Tell them enough!" my father apparently whispered to my sister.
"I guess you can all disperse now," I told the crowd when the kiss was done.
But they didn’t disperse. They cheered for Caleb and I as we walked past them, and then they enveloped us in love as the sun set over the Savannah River.
I’m bereft without them. I wish I could live on a compound with all of my friends and family forever, and never be more than a few hundred feet away from them.
As it is, everyone’s gone. Caleb’s in bed with the terrible fever his body was polite enough to wait to unleash until the weekend was over. And I’m sitting with my computer, paying the final bills, just off the phone with my accountant. “Your business is prospering now, so let’s pay more estimated taxes this year,” she told me in her Indian accent. Vijaya is here name, and when she signed off her final note about the taxes I owed, she did so with a “love” because even she is happy for me and Caleb.
There will be a million more pictures to post when I get them from the photographers. And a million more stories to tell. Thank you for all of the love you’ve given us. Now I must go take care of my sick husband Cable, as I promised to do in front of a judge on Saturday.