“I get called Esther from Orphan or Claudia from Interview with A Vampire. so mean. whatever. I can play a decoy on ‘To Catch A Predator.’” —a Tweet by Dakota Rose
This the story of Dakota Rose, known as Kotakoti in the East, and Dakotakoti in the West. It is a story of double identities and betrayals. It is the story of a misunderstood girl who looks like a doll, but has the heart of a teenage girl. It is a story that might land you in jail for pedophilia, because Dakota Rose is only 16-years-old, but the pictures you see of her in this post might give you an erection, even if you’re a girl.
Let’s start with the basic facts, of which there are only a few.
Dakota Rose is a teenage girl who goes to high school in America.
She lives in an area that gets cold in the winter, and at night, she hears coyotes in her backyard, which may or may not mean that she lives in the movie Twilight.
She has a very active blog, on which she posts pictures of herself staring at the camera like forlorn Barbie. Occasionally, she writes about wanting to become a workbot, or how she wore her hair to breakfast. Otherwise, she doesn’t write much about her personal life.
She saves her deepest most private thoughts for her Twitter account. Some gems include:
“I wonder if a man has ever stuffed his own boob in his mouth. like a really huge man I mean. not just a lick. a genuine mouth stuff.”
“Why so stingy?”
My cat and I have the same hair color, who would’ve thought?
Because of her striking resemblance both to a Bratz Doll…
…and an adorable kitty kat…
…she is extraordinarily popular in Japan and China.
In those faraway lands, they call her a cosplayer, or a person who wears a costume to represent a specific character or idea. The character Dakota Rose represents is not specific. Rather, she channels the idea of a “doll,” or a “perfect face” or “anime sex toy.”
Because of her great beauty, adeptness wearing high heels with socks, and waving hello at a camera, she has a number of imitators, including this wackadoo in China.
Dakota Rose has a Hello Kitty cell phone.
She makes videos of herself trying on different outfits. She does her hair. She probably cannot speak.
At some point in her life, she made fun of Lesbians on a web video, which made some of her fans very angry. In response to accusations that she is a racist and a homophobe, she wrote this:
“That doesn’t justify what I said, the jokes were out of line, and I never intended to hurt anyone. However calling me an ugly disgusting cunt who should die is also out of line.”
Apparently, Dakota Rose does not have parents, or if she does, they are dumb, blind, deaf, and cannot use the Internet. Because otherwise, there is no way that they’d let their teenage daughter Dakota Rose write something like this on her blog, with accompanying pictures:
“Every time I walk out of the house I think ‘Yeah, everything’s good, I can wear this skirt, no problem.’ Then fifteen minutes later I am freezing to death.’”
(“Make me warm with your moist tongue and your big hairy toes!” This tidbit of information says to me.)
Because of her uniqueness and her popularity, Dakota Rose has many detractors. They say that she does not actually have a perfect face because she uses Photoshop to manipulate her images.
They are correct, but even without Photoshop, she is still a very pretty teenager.
To me, she seems like the Lana Del Rey of the fetish world. Before she became Dakotakoti, she was Dakota from The Craft.
When that didn’t make her famous, she gave herself some virtual plastic surgery. She pumped up her eyes so that in photographs, they look like gigantic saucers of crazy. She also looks like she did something to her lips.
She took out the two vampire teeth piercings. She learned how to write to her fans in Japanese.
Within the year, I expect DakotaKoti to not only release a record album, but also to become a movie star in Korea. When she turns 18, she will sell her underwear on the Internet.
For you, Dakotakoti. For becoming famous for nothing besides changing outfits and smiling for the camera.
For the effect that this will have on you psychologically as you age. For getting out of the United States, and moving to Japan, where you will become a goddess. For your truly pretty face, and your boobs, which I am jealous of.
For reminding me that I’ll never be 16 again. For making me feel my old age.
For being everything a pageant queen could ever want to be.
For you, Dakotakoti Kotakoti Dakota Rose, you’re my icon of the week.
(Thank you to Bianca for contributing all of the research for this! I am lucky to have her.)