A Brie Grows in Brooklyn

Fantasy Football League for Women (Household Chores Edition)

I’m getting a little bit sick of this Fantasy Football for Women thing, mostly because I think that most football players look like meatheads (in a good way). Also, if I had more than one NFL star in my apartment, I would feel like I was at a tea party for giants. I’m also pretty sure that my floor would collapse.

Anyway, this is my last pick, and it’s an obvious one.

Pick: Tom Brady

Position: Quarterback, NE Patriots

(I know that I already picked one quarterback. But my guys aren’t playing sports- they’re doing household chores).

Household Chore: Taking pictures of me while I do things around my apartment.

What? Taking pictures of your master isn’t a real household chore? Trust me, the last guy who had that position would tell you otherwise. It was so difficult, he quit after 1 minute.

Tom Brady is undeniably hot. I thought he was hot when he was married to Bridget Moynahan. In fact, I was so upset about their nuptials that she briefly was featured on my secret “People I’m Insanely Jealous Of” list that I keep in my Moleskin.

Now that he’s with Gisele, who must frequently ask him to take her picture (she’s a model, fyi), his photography skills must be good. Although I’m sure he still needs some work. Which is why he’s perfect for a job with me.

Let’s just say that Gisele was a Pre-Season, and I’m the Super Bowl, and leave it at that.

Icon of the Week: Charlotte Rampling

My friend Bobbi (a beauty herself) emailed me this weekend to ask if I had thought about making Charlotte Rampling my icon. I had not, but five seconds on IMDB convinced me pretty thoroughly that I was a fool not to have featured her earlier.

Charlotte Rampling has the kind of beauty that reverberates through generations. She’s Carla Bruni, she’s Eva Green, she’s Natalia Vodianova and she’s Gisele Bundchen, all rolled into one, and aging ever so gracefully. 

She has an exquisite cinema lineage, working as she has with Woody Allen (in Stardust Memories) and Luchino Visconti (in The Damned), and her career continues to flourish, unlike many of her contemporaries, in movies like Swimming Pool and the upcoming Never Let Me Go. 

(I hate it when my Icon posts start sounding like E! True Hollywood stories. I can’t believe that I just said “exquisite cinema lineage.” Who do I think that I am, Roger Ebert? I’m gonna leave it.)

Charlotte is British, but she has starred in more French and Italian films than I have fingers to count on. I can only assume that she speaks with something of a mixed accent, draws in her cheekbones before she pulls a drag from a cigarette, and sleeps with much younger men, frequently. 

For you, Charlotte. For freckles on your nose, and back massages from Woody Allen. For living with two men and posing naked. For amorality and innocence, for the dark side of life in the characters you play. For being more than a little alluring to me, Charlotte Rampling, you’re my Icon of the Week.