My shoulders are cramping, but fuck me if I give up now. Don’t take that literally.
The next category contains the dresses that I think, for various reasons, are “bad.” Meaning either poorly chosen, badly fitted, or just plain ridiculous. I think. I haven’t looked at these dresses since 8am. My personality might have changed since then.
I’m going to start with Lana Del Rey, because she looked just atrocious. Bitch really doesn’t give a fuck, does she? Either that, or she doesn’t hire a stylist. Either way, the dress fits poorly (notice the vagina highlight), the opera cloak is ridiculous, and she looks like she got herself into some reefer. Her hair, I have to say, looks fantastic.
Lana Del Rey, whose star is waning, could have played her fame two ways. She could have gone high fashion Florence Welch style. Or she could have gone balls out crazy like this bitch Bianca Brandolini D’Adda, who is apparently the heir to the Fiat fortune:
Like, this bitch did crazy RIGHT! It’s so ridiculous it’s fabulous. I want this woman to take me to a party, and dance on tables with me!
I’ve been thinking a lot about Lana Del Rey the past few days. Her album is dropping on January 30, which means that the publicity elves underneath her must be whirring their magic machines, bringing her to the attention of people like me, who enjoy music but don’t follow it. I’m the last stand before she hits the Michael Buble market.
Lana del Rey, apparently, has been around for a while, or at least a few months. She first appeared on the music scene in June, when she released her single “Video Games.” Since then, she’s become one of the most hated musicians in the industry, derided for her past, her lack of musical talent, her good looks, her record deals, her music videos, being sexy, eating food, walking, and the way she came out of the womb.
People hate Lana Del Rey so much that Maura Johnston of The Village Voice named “Video Games” the“2nd Most Infuriating Song of 2011.” They hate her so much that they write long, nonsensical essays giving her the power to define what’s wrong with an entire generation of young women in America, like Amy Klein of the indie band Titus Andronicus, who says:
“Lana Del Ray is waiting for you to come home so you can go to bed and act out all of your wildest fantasies which is exactly what she wants to do—what you want to do, that is. Lana Del Ray is waiting for you because she is your mirror.
(This sounds awesome to me.)