On the rare occasion that I hang out with someone who’s not a house pet, I find myself unveiling the identity of my boyfriend, who has been appearing frequently on this blog. “Who is this Caleb character?” my curious friends have been asking me whenever I run into them. “So you really don’t love me?” cried my crazy Internet stalker as he tried to make a noose out of a lock of my hair.
In some cases, some of my menagerie of nutjobs have already friended him on Facebook (hi crazy cousin Shawn!), so they have some inkling that we’re dating. Or they’ve had the pleasure l meeting him in person, and seeing that he’s the sweetest man in the entire world.
I have almost never admitted in public that I had a boyfriend. In elementary school, it was because I was dating boys who gave me candy, and it kind of made me seem like a baby whore. In high school, it was because my dad would have killed them. In college, it was because…well…I won’t get into that. And as an adult, I’ve found that the second I admit to having one, they usually disappear, leaving me hurt and embarrassed for trusting them with such a weighty title.
I have a feeling, however, that Caleb is going to be sticking around. Let’s just say he made it through three period cycles.
I asked him this morning if I could do a “public unveiling” of him on my blog. I couldn’t tell if he responded in the affirmative or the negative, probably because I had my hands over his mouth so that I could muffle his response. But here he is anyway, in the picture above. I chose it because even though I look like I crawled out of a grave in a Tim Burton film, he looks handsome, and that’s all that matters because THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT ME.
As a brief introduction, here are some things that Caleb likes:
3. Furniture design
5. Bike riding
And here are some things he dislikes:
1. Ryan Gosling
2. Bryan Greenberg
3. When I write about hot actors on my blog
4. Not having a nickname
As you can see, he’s a very well-rounded person with excellent taste.
We’re going to Vietnam next week. He has to travel there for work, and I’m tagging along, to write and be a dilettante paramour. As he’ll be a central figure in the stories to come in the following weeks, I thought I’d introduce him formally.
(Now watch him break up with me tonight.)