Paperblog A Brie Grows in Brooklyn

A Brie Grows in Brooklyn

"Mabel's not crazy... she's unusual."

Today was going to be my morning to sleep in, but then I woke up and started updating Franke’s fucking blog…or rather she did. Um, the farce is up.
And then I got to thinking about all of the things I’ve been wanting to write about, one of them being Game of Thrones, and decided that this morning, my thoughts don’t feel like they’re hitting a concrete wall, as they have been for the past few days. So I might as well get some of them out now.
On a side note, before I begin, I’m always embarrassed to post stills from the show, because they are so ugly aesthetically. Kind of like posting official photos from the Royal Wedding.
Now, at first, I was kind of bored by Game of Thrones Season 2. There was a lot of groundwork to do in the narrative, and it was fucking boring. But then, the past four episodes, I think that it’s really picked up. Game of Thrones, the HBO version, is here to stay, and I think that fans can be hopeful that if George RR Martin dies of obesity (is that mean?) before he finishes the books, then David Benioff and D.B. Weiss could do a pretty good job wrapping up the mess he created in Book Five. Or at least a better job than that guy who ghost wrote the last few Robert Jordans.
So, if you’re a true fan of the books, then you know that the show has taken quite a few licenses with the narrative. Robb Stark is dating an Arabian Nights kind of hussy with a great ass rather than a diminutive little lake lady? Nice. Tywin Lannister and Arya Stark find common ground at Harrenhal? I like it. Jamie gets set free by Catlyn way before he should have? I didn’t like it, but I’ll accept it if someone cleans him off and puts him in a hot bitch’s bed.
The narrative changes probably make people angry—I’ve been so busy keeping track of Diane Kruger’s ballgowns at Cannes that I haven’t read a single episode recap from this week, or any weeks—but I’m enjoying them, because it makes watching the show exciting. It’s kind of like when you’re a super nerd, and you read a big fantasy series, and then you spend your Friday nights in those storyboard chat rooms, writing alternate endings. Like pretending that you’re Daenerys Targaryen, and shit, and having really dirty sex with Jorah Mormont, who is also a real person pretending, so it’s kind of like you’re having Internet chat room sex, only its better, because you’re a queen. 
Or, for me, it’s kind of like when I have fantasy novel themed dreams, where I’m one of the characters in a book doing shit doesn’t happen in the books, and then I wake up, and want to know what happens, but can’t, because I can never return to the dreamland, not unless I get a key or whatever from the Warlock down the street who looks like a homeless man but is actually the most magical man in Brooklyn. 
Anyway, I think you get my point, but probably not. In any case, if you’re not watching Game of Thrones, you should invest the time in it, because it’s good, even if you don’t like fantasy, and even if you haven’t read the books.

Today was going to be my morning to sleep in, but then I woke up and started updating Franke’s fucking blog…or rather she did. Um, the farce is up.

And then I got to thinking about all of the things I’ve been wanting to write about, one of them being Game of Thrones, and decided that this morning, my thoughts don’t feel like they’re hitting a concrete wall, as they have been for the past few days. So I might as well get some of them out now.

On a side note, before I begin, I’m always embarrassed to post stills from the show, because they are so ugly aesthetically. Kind of like posting official photos from the Royal Wedding.

Now, at first, I was kind of bored by Game of Thrones Season 2. There was a lot of groundwork to do in the narrative, and it was fucking boring. But then, the past four episodes, I think that it’s really picked up. Game of Thrones, the HBO version, is here to stay, and I think that fans can be hopeful that if George RR Martin dies of obesity (is that mean?) before he finishes the books, then David Benioff and D.B. Weiss could do a pretty good job wrapping up the mess he created in Book Five. Or at least a better job than that guy who ghost wrote the last few Robert Jordans.

So, if you’re a true fan of the books, then you know that the show has taken quite a few licenses with the narrative. Robb Stark is dating an Arabian Nights kind of hussy with a great ass rather than a diminutive little lake lady? Nice. Tywin Lannister and Arya Stark find common ground at Harrenhal? I like it. Jamie gets set free by Catlyn way before he should have? I didn’t like it, but I’ll accept it if someone cleans him off and puts him in a hot bitch’s bed.

The narrative changes probably make people angry—I’ve been so busy keeping track of Diane Kruger’s ballgowns at Cannes that I haven’t read a single episode recap from this week, or any weeks—but I’m enjoying them, because it makes watching the show exciting. It’s kind of like when you’re a super nerd, and you read a big fantasy series, and then you spend your Friday nights in those storyboard chat rooms, writing alternate endings. Like pretending that you’re Daenerys Targaryen, and shit, and having really dirty sex with Jorah Mormont, who is also a real person pretending, so it’s kind of like you’re having Internet chat room sex, only its better, because you’re a queen. 

Or, for me, it’s kind of like when I have fantasy novel themed dreams, where I’m one of the characters in a book doing shit doesn’t happen in the books, and then I wake up, and want to know what happens, but can’t, because I can never return to the dreamland, not unless I get a key or whatever from the Warlock down the street who looks like a homeless man but is actually the most magical man in Brooklyn. 

Anyway, I think you get my point, but probably not. In any case, if you’re not watching Game of Thrones, you should invest the time in it, because it’s good, even if you don’t like fantasy, and even if you haven’t read the books.

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Game of Thrones: My Casting Part I

It’s stormy as sin in Buenos Aires today, and I’m feeling inspired by the plethora of fake Game of Thrones YouTube trailers created by fans. Some of them get over 200,000 views. And they’re not even real trailers. So in the hopes that I can bring my readership up over 15 today, I’m going to do my own casting for the HBO series.

Robert Baratheon

HBO cast Mark Addy in this role, which I find to be disappointing. Not only does this guy not have black hair, he doesn’t even look capable of slaughtering anything, least of all Rhaegar Targaryen. He looks like a really nice guy, but come on, no one is going to believe that he fathered 16 bastard children.

My casting: Dominic West. I’ll be the first to admit that this casting has a lot of outward flaws. First of all, I know that Dominic West is too famous to play Robert Baratheon, but this is a “fantasy” casting, not a reality one. And I know he’s not hefty. But hear me out. Dominic West plays a great drunk (hello Detective McNulty on The Wire). He’s definitely a warrior. He’s a lover. I can definitely see him roughly taking his connubial rights with Cersei Lannister. Also, he can shoot the youthful Robert Baratheon scenes first, and then gain a ton of weight for the years when he is king. I mean, everyone knows that the mark of a fine actor is being able to rapidly gain and lose weight for a role. And finally, who wouldn’t prefer to gaze on his visage over that of Mark Addy (no offense)? 

Daenerys Targaryen

HBO originally cast Tamzin Merchant as Dany, who I think was a mediocre choice. But I think that she was a much better pick than the girl that they recently re-cast, who is:

Emilia Clarke. Emilia Clarke has only been in one other role, as a young girl in the series “Doctors.” I just watched her clips, and I don’t think that she has what it takes to be Dany. I mean, whoever plays Dany needs to be a girl who can walk into fire and emerge with three baby dragons crouched on her being. She needs to hire a slave army. She needs to marry Khal Drogo and eat the heart of a horse. She needs to be the most beautiful woman in the world. I mean, this girl is pretty, but she’s not UNIQUE enough. So in my fantasy cast, I would choose:

 

Lily Cole. I mean, look at how otherworldly beautiful she is.

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